By Teddy Tedbos
So, you want to get an ex back, but you're not sure how to go about it. Assuming you have recently gone through a break up, see if any of these sound familiar:
• Calling you ex constantly directly after the break up
• Trying to fix the relationship through email or text messages
• Begging them to take you back
• Promising to correct everything or to change for good
• Trying to convince them that you are the love of their life
If these sound familiar because you are doing them right now then you need to stop, these are the first mistakes people tend to make when they are trying to get an ex back. Let us take a look at how they negatively impact our efforts of trying to repair the relationship.
Calling your ex constantly directly after the break up. Why is this bad? This is bad because doing so does nothing more than pushes your ex further away remember, they broke up with you and they did not do it to spend more time with you but rather to get away from you.
Trying to fix the relationship through email or text messages. Pretty much the same as number one above, they just broke up with you they don't want to have anything to do with you or they would not have broken up with you to begin with.
Begging your ex to take you back. This does nothing more than put your ex in control of the situation thus, allowing them to decide if and when they will take you back.
Promising to correct everything or to change for good. If you need to change yourself or the things you enjoy doing in order to get an ex back, then you should really take several steps backwards and take a good look at the relationship. (From my past experience) I found that changing yourself to please someone else or to try and save a relationship does nothing except, make you miserable because you are trying to be someone you are not.
Trying to convince them that you are the love of their life. This is not at all necessary, if you are truly the love of their live they already know it and trying to convince them, once again, it puts them in control of the situation. So, instead of trying to convince your ex to take you back, take a good look at yourself and make sure that your ex is truly the love of your life. (Human nature is to fight hard to hold on to what we have, even if we don't want it or need it.)
As you can see doing any of the above, really isn't moving you in the right direction or helping you to get your ex back. So, now you are probably wondering, "What can I do to get my ex back?" The first thing to do is stop calling, stop trying to fix it through email or text messages, stop your begging, stop promising to change, stop trying to convince them you are the love of your life and start working on yourself.
What you should be doing:
1. Stop or cut all communication with your ex.
a. Don't call, text, or email them, except to apologize and let them know you are willing to talk. (ONLY ONCE do not repeatedly try to apologize)
b. Keep the lines of communication open.
c. Use this time of no communication to take action on the next two steps.
2. Get over the depression.
a. Keep yourself busy so you are not constantly thinking about your ex.
b. Get reacquainted with some of the friends you stopped hanging around with.
c. Start socializing, go out with those friends you haven't seen for a while and do some catching up (Do not talk about the break up, it will come up, keep it short and move on with things you may have missed out on when in the relationship)
3. Work on self improvement. (Everybody stands to use some self improvement)
a. Improve your attitude toward life and in general.
b. Improve your appearance.
c. Try to fix or lose any bad habits you may have. (Working on improving yourself can make you a happier person and can make your ex begin to notice you again.)
If you have already made the five mistakes listed above, don't worry, all is not lost, with a well-defined plan it is possible to still get an ex back but, you will need to get a plan and stick to that plan to the very end.
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